Did you ever have a bad day when you itched to punch somebody in the mouth? I know I preached to new reporters to never lead with a question, but this is an exception.

Did you ever have a bad day when you itched to punch somebody in the mouth? I know I preached to new reporters to never lead with a question, but this is an exception.
During a recent period, things were going so badly, I wanted to smash somebody in the mouth. The only thing stopping me was that, being in the ninth decade of life, one gets important reminders about what is smart and what is not. Being on the higher side of 80, one gets indications that some things change. For instance, the fact that now my tee shots only go 200 to 220 yards instead of 260 to 280. This is a sign that a sock on the jaw might not inflict any more damage on some guy or gal than a mosquito bite. That could mean a big problem.
The first trouble was when the computer crashed. I took it to the shop and the next morning the man called, saying that repairing it was not an option. That meant a new one. This was traumatic, since that computer contained all the Back Porch columns since my retirement on Nov. 1, 1995. Also, there were five novels (three published) and all sorts of other valuable data including some 300 photos, over 200 of which were taken while bumming around the United Kingdom for a month in 2011. Granted, I have them on discs. But I have columns before then on floppy discs that are totally out of date and can't be recalled.
Also, there was the address book, including those for the Leader in Leesville and the Beauregard Daily News in DeRidder by which these columns are transmitted. Also, my checkbook was on a Quicken Program.
"Oh, we can transfer all that stuff to your new stuff," the man said. Well, maybe they did, but I'll be a something or other if I can find them. I was told that all the software programs I had on the old Windows XP were outdated for the new Windows 7.
There's the trouble with all this wonderful modern technology. A generation of a new technology lasts about as long as the life span of those bugs that smear up our automobiles this time of year. Just as soon as you learn how to use the latest computer system, they develop a new one which is all different.
While still steaming over the computer problems, I came out of a parking lot where there was a dip between the driveway and road. There was that traumatic ding ding ding meaning something is wrong. A message on the dashboard instructed me to "service air bags." So into the car shop I go.
The man said they would have to put it on the computer and see what was wrong. I commented that I suppose this isn/t covered by that bumper-to-bumper extended warranty I paid $1,300 for, just like it didn't cover anything else that had to be fixed since I bought it three years ago. He said he would check.
Pretty soon he came out to the waiting room where I was discussing and cussing matters with folks there and told me a sensor was bad and had to be replaced. But then he delivered the message that, yes, the extended warranty would cover it and all I owed was $50. When the warranty covered the problem, I didn't know why I owed $50 but I kept mum.
Somebody later told me that the 50 bucks was probably for the computer usage that found the bad sensor.
A friend recently asked me if I thought the U.S. would ever become a dictatorship. My answer to that is for the next column, but I will add this. If I ever became the dictator, my first action would be to go door to door and business to business, collect all the computers and put them on one of those ships we send off to Mars to see what kind dirt and stones they have there.
Then people would have to do the work just like they did before computers came into being.
Trivia time
When was the first recorded use of the word computer? Answer to last question: The first battle of the War of 1812 was an invasion of Canada by U.S. forces. The invasion was not repelled when the British took control of Detroit.
You may contact George Frasher at (337) 424-7404, or by e-mail at georgefrasher@aol.com.